I thought I was a genius.
Looking back to my past, there weren’t any pleasing memories.
I really thought I was a genius.
I had so much talent that I misunderstood myself as a talented genius. I didn’t have much trouble learning new things since childhood, and I was always ahead of others.
However, it was only easy in the beginning. At first, I improved faster than the others, but at the same time, I also was like the others.
I didn’t think much about it.
This could happen.
Getting better little by little.
I can do it.
I am a genius.
Eventually, I realized the reality that I didn’t want to admit
I’m not really a genius.
It was because I met a ‘real’ genius who couldn’t even compare with me and it broke the illusion I created.
A frog in a well that he mistook himself as a genius. That’s what best described me.
When I felt superior in my little well, the real genius was soaring flying in the sky.
I loathe this genius one.
Sometimes I hear people speak as if they are entitled to do so, and I see that happening a lot.
Whether they really meant it or they were trying to ignore something worse.
I feel like a shit whenever I hear it.
‘Are you jealous?’
I was just a jealous man. So I acted like shit, but now what kind of jealousy am I really feeling?
‘I didn’t expect you to think that way. I’m… Because I feel sorry for you.’
You’re sad? Why?
‘If you tried a little harder…….’
What do you know about my efforts?
‘You could have done a lot better.’
Hey, I’m still doing well enough. Your standards are extremely high. How can everyone do it like you? Don’t think that you’re a genius and everyone else can do it like you.
Do you understand?
I can’t do it like you.
* * *
I squeezed out a voice that wasn’t coming out. I have a hole in the chest, and It seems like they are using magic to heal such a hole, but it’s no use.
I never imagined she would make that face. I am used to her mean expression facing me, but I guess I did have a grudge.
“So…… that’s why I told you. Just go back. Why are you so stubborn and following me…….”
“Senya put this in first.”
My voice didn’t come out as I wanted. Only blood shot up from my throat.
“Elixir. Why would you use something precious here? Didn’t you only have a few of them? Don’t be so silly.”
“No thanks. I know my body best. I can’t live any longer. I’m about to die.”
I’m going to die.
I already resigned even before I had a hole in my chest. I was a complete fool from the start.
“We will be back, so please wait.”
I ignored my companions’ worries and criticism but they still followed me to this point.
“……I could have avoided it.”
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“Get out of here.”
“I’m sure you knew.”
This was a situation that would happen anytime soon. Although it was a complete crisis, it wouldn’t have been good for them.
Didn’t they know that?
We’ve been together for a long time.
What a ridiculous monster were you?
I knew a lot of people who talked about you as a monster.
“……you didn’t have to die like this.”
Then how should I have died? You know it too. It was a miracle that I came all the way here. Suppose it wasn’t for you. I could never have come this far.
“……this is an honorable death.”
It’s hard to speak in this state. I could only tell you this much.
“I thought it would be a burden if we went together. I don’t want to go back.”
I didn’t want to live my life as a disabled person.
“You’re really great. I didn’t need to cover you up.”
He flew knowing it. This body, which could not move well, moved unexpectedly at that moment. To save you, I pushed the bad guy away, and I had a big hole in my chest.
“…I’m sleepy, so go now.”
It’s hard to squeeze my voice. My voice sounds far away but sobs far away. I don’t lift my fingers, and I feel heavy. The front part of my eyes is burnt black.
In the end.
I heard his voice.
Hey, you should have told me earlier if you were going to. But I feel good, actually. I’ve never heard you thanking me in my life.
When I opened my eyes again, everything was bigger than me.
What the heck?