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I thought I was a genius.
It’s embarrassing to look back on now.
I really thought I was a genius.
I had so much talent that I misunderstood myself as a talented genius. I didn’t have much trouble learning new things from my childhood, and I was always ahead of others.
Yet, it was only easy in the beginning. At first, I improved faster than the others, but at the same time, I was like others.
I didn’t think much of it.
This could happen.
Getting better little by little.
I can do it.
I am a genius.
Eventually, I realized the reality that I didn’t want to know.
I’m not really a genius.
It was because I met a ‘real’ genius who couldn’t compare with me that broke the funny illusion I created myself.
A frog in a well that he mistook himself as a genius.
When I was feeling superior in my little well, the real genius was already flying in the wide sky.
I hate this genius one.
Sometimes I hear people speak as if they can do what they can, I see that a lot.
Whether they really think so or try to ignore something worse.
Anyway, I feel like a shit when I hear it.
‘Are you jealous?’
I was just a jealous man. So I acted like a shit, but now what kind of jealousy I am feeling?
‘I didn’t expect you to think that way. I’m just… Because I feel sorry for you.’
You’re sad? Why?
‘If you tried a little harder…….’
What do you know about my efforts?
‘You could have done a lot better.’
Hey, I’m still doing well enough. Your standards are extremely high. How can everyone do it like you? Don’t think that you’re a genius and everyone else can do it like you.
Do you understand?
I can’t do it like you.
* * *
I squeezed out a voice that wasn’t coming out. I have a hole in the chest and It seems like they are using magic just to such hol , but it’s no use.
I never imagined she would make that face. I used to make a mean expression about everything, but I guess I did have a grudge.
“So…… that’s why I told you. Just go back. Why are you so stubborn and following me…….”
“Senya, put this in first.”
My voice doesn’t come out as I wanted, only blood shot up from my throat.
“Elicer. Why would you use something precious here that you don’t have a few? Don’t be so silly.”
“No thanks. I know my body best. I can’t live any longer. I’m about to die.”
I’m going to die.
He resigned even before he had a hole in his chest. He was a complete fool from the start.
“Go back, wait.”
He ignored his worries and criticism and followed him to this point.
“……I could have avoided it.”
A brusque voice: ‘You were so annoying until the end.’
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“Get out of here.”
“I’m sure you knew.”
That this was a situation that would happen anytime soon, although it was a complete crisis, it wouldn’t have been good for you.
Didn’t you know that? I know. We’ve been together for a long time. What a ridiculous monster are you? I knew a lot of people who talk about you as a monster.
“……you didn’t have to die like this.”
Then how should I have died? You know it too. It was a miracle that I came all the way here. If it weren’t for you. I could never have come this far.
“……this is an honorable death.”
It’s hard to speak in this state. I could only tell you this much.
“I thought it would be a burden if we went together. I don’t want to go back.”
I didn’t want to live my life as a cripple.
“You’re really great. I didn’t need to cover you up.”
He flew knowing it. This body, which could not move well, moved unexpected at that moment. In order to save you, I pushed the bad guy away, and I had a big hole in my chest.
“…I’m sleepy, so go now.”
It’s hard to squeeze my voice. My voice sounds far away, but sobs far away. I don’t lift my fingers, and I feel heavy. The front part of my eyes are burnt black.
At the end.
I heard his voice. ‘Hey, you should have told me earlier if you were going to. But I feel good actually. I’ve never heard you thanking me in my life.’
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